Bigblock is out of town. Guess what happens EVERY time Bigblock is not available? I either have car trouble, household problems, or when Thing 1 and 2 were little there was always a medical emergency! What is the problem this time you ask?
Last night, or really this morning about 1 a.m., I am sitting on the couch relaxing and surfing the web. When all of a sudden I hear a loud noise coming from the sliding door in the dining room. I freeze. What is it? I'm thinking is it Thing 2 out there trying to scare me? Is someone trying to break in? That would be stupid, because they can see the lights still on and see me from the door. I don't have my phone because Thing 2 likes to think it's his property and took it to the neighbor's with him. So, I get off the couch and notice that the sliding door is not shut all the way and the lock is not engaged. I scramble to slam the door shut and push the lock home. When I look outside and see..........a damn RACCOON on the SIDE of the house. We live in a log sided home. That sucker is right below a flood light (I thought they didn't like lights!) and just inches from the door. And he just freezes and looks at me too. Oh shit, so I start banging on the glass door and tell him to shoo! He retreats off the deck. Ok, now I can breathe, breathe Wunderwoman...
Now I'm scared to go to the neighbors to get Thing 2 because we have a large yard and it's not well lit. So I'm freaking out. Where the hells the gun? Why does Bigblock have to hide it from me? Why did I never get anyone to show me how to fire a darn gun? I wait and calm down, then I race over to the neighbors and scare the beejeeses out of them! Ha! Thing 2 and neighbor boy come and check the house and surrounding yard out for me, coon is gone. Whew! But I've got my phone back! So I call Bigblock, yes it's almost 2 a.m. now but I don't care. He doesn't answer. Probably knows it's bad if I'm calling at that time. I leave a message! Call me back, where is the gun? Why did you have to take this stupid trip now??? I finally go to bed a little after 2 and sleep surprisingly well. go figure.
This morning I call my Brother #3 (Remember I have 4) and tell him, you have to teach me to shoot a gun! He agrees and off I go. I'm gonna need practice! In the meantime I have talked to Bigblock and I know where the gun is and will be ready tonight. Oh, and Thing 2 will be control of the weapon, because I really, really need practice. LOL
Now, I want to inform everyone that I did do research and it is legal to exterminate raccoons if they are doing damage. They will rip off shingles to get into your attic!! However, I also read that they hate the smell of ammonia, so I will also put some rags soaked in an ammonia solution out there tonight. But, if that doesn't take care of it, who wants coon stew? Please say a prayer for me and the coon!